Every superhero has their bad days

Putting your hand up, stopping, and asking for help is one of the hardest things one will ever learn to do. When you realise that you are out of your depth, that your cape isn't as snug anymore, and your magic powers seem to be lacking your normal fizz. And no matter how much you try, how much confidence you have in yourself, sometimes it just isn't enough. And, at those times, admitting you need help can be the hardest thing any of us will ever have to do.

I put my hand up late last year, and admitted I needed help. I had two summer papers on the go, a few unexpected jolts occurred, and I realised I was drowning. I am usually too proud to ask for help, I believe with a few all nighters anything can be achieved. But, when the clock ticked and the time passed, not even Miss Granger and her necklace could help me.  So, after a small pause and think, I realised that in order to continue I needed to stop. That seems somewhat cliche and odd, but it's true. Sometimes the best way for us to achieve and continue in excellence is to admit when we have too many plans, and to drop one to continue a smoother journey. And, that is what I did. I dropped one paper, and continued with the other. And the panic subsided, the fear went away, and my cape felt starched and ready for action. I did feel weak, I felt disappointed in myself for being unable to complete my plan. But, now, I look back and am proud of my bravery. I stood up, admitted that I couldn't do something, and backed down. It takes sheer guts, a knock of pride, and a bigger person to ask for help.

So, that is my honesty for today. And, yes, I'm still a pretty good superhero. 

Honesty

My New Years resolution was to try a blog piece twice a week, and be more honest with my writing. It seemed like such a fantastic plan, something I could achieve quite well, and something I would enjoy.

It's day 7. And here I am, now, trying very hard to write.

It's not the lack of words, it's not the lack of imagination. It's not that nothing has happened to write about, it's the complete opposite. It's the honesty. It's the point where I begin to write, and I am afraid of what will come out.

I promised myself this would be a fantastic, glittery, cheery, whimsical blog. That all my fantasmic plans and midnight ideas would be on here. Somewhere that I could look back on, and remember the magic and fantasy that runs through my veins. I have that, it's stored right here at the surface. What I didn't realise was that surface was a mask, and what lies underneath I'd prefer to leave alone. But then, I wouldn't be honest with myself or others. 

And so here I sit, staring at a screen with apprehension. If I'm honest, I lose a part of me that I have been trying to hold. If I'm not honest, then I wait for the bottle to explode when I least expect it, or even understand it. 

I suppose every journey begins with a rocky start.